How does one handle rejection? When it comes to our desire to share the gospel and take a stand for Christ, we all want to shine as lights in this world. But how can you maintain your sparkle when you are laughed off or marginalised? There are even those rare occasions when your brilliance is met with hostility, and it’s impossible to prepare yourself for the moments that catch you off-guard. Or is it?

The Bible in fact has a lot to say as it concerns responding to rejection. Before we visit with the Apostle Paul, however, I’d like to quickly share with you one of my main inspirations for this article.

It has been said that inspiration comes from unlikely places, and I suppose there is an urban-legend kind of truth to that. But when it comes to the subject matter of this article, the source of inspiration is anything but unlikely. There is really no other place you could go. She is a lady brimming with poise and wisdom, a consistent muse to us all. She is pure Americana, teaming with wit and temerity, and it was at the height of her career when she wrote on this very subject of rejection.

Sidestepping the normal theological jargon that can cloud such an issue, she (as only she could) cut Swiftly to the heart. She wrote, “The players gonna play… the haters gonna hate… baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake — shake it off.”

When you hear these words, it makes you say, “Wow! That is so pithy and astute”. You can practically hear the Apostle Paul saying to the Jews of Antioch, “Hey, hey, hey: while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you could have been getting down to this sick beat.” We are all indebted to her epigrammatic lyrics which have gifted us all with a Taylor-made response to rejection. Now that we are inspired, lets patch Paul in and see what he has to say.

It is important to discern the difference if we are going to properly apply Paul’s response to rejection.

The annoying reality is that rejection proves impossible to avoid. If you are going to follow Christ and do so in a way that is consistent with scripture, then you are going to feel its sting. So how did Paul handle it when the haters would hate? To answer that question, we have to drift back for a second to first-century Antioch (the one on the north side of Pisidia, not the one in Syria that served as the Church HQ).

In this particular Antioch, Paul and Barney were met not only with a great opportunity to preach Christ but also with an equal amount of hostility. Following a stellar sermon in the local synagogue, both Jews and Gentiles alike were drawn to the message and wanted more. Many of them accepted Christ. In fact, when Paul was set to preach again at their request, nearly the entire town came out to listen. Of course, the Jewish leaders of Antioch were livid. They were about as welcoming as Berkley students at a Ben Shapiro speech.

Acts 13:45 But when the Jews saw the multitudes, they were filled with envy, and spake against those things which were spoken by Paul, contradicting and blaspheming.

So how did Paul respond? Before we take a look, we need to quickly define our terms. What do we mean by “rejection”? We are not talking about someone simply not sharing your beliefs or someone who may have legitimate questions about the gospel. We are not talking about someone who seems to be taking a long time to make a decision. We must be patient with people and be willing to stick with them as long as it takes, as long as we believe they genuinely want to know. If you ask someone to speak with you about Christ and they accept, then there is a good chance they want to know. But even if they say no to the invitation for salvation at the end, they may still have some level of interest. So how can you know if you are dealing with a “True Rejector” as opposed to someone who is just undecided? Acts 13:45 is a good start. This verse lists four clues for how one might identify a rejector:

They are filled with envy: they seem to be enviously irritated with your happiness or the gospel
They speak out against your message: this could be to you directly or to others
They contradict your message: this is gainsaying, to speak against with a twist of hostility
They blaspheme: this means to make light of, dishonour, or insult your beliefs or Christ

So when we talk about being rejected, this is closer to what we mean: when someone is irritated by your beliefs and speaks out against them, rejecting them and you in a hostile and insulting way. Obviously, this will be experienced on a spectrum of greater to lesser degrees, but this is the spirit of someone who has rejected you and the gospel. We are not talking about someone who is simply tough to win, who has objections and tough questions, who is indecisive. It is important to discern the difference if we are going to properly apply Paul’s response to rejection.

Paul’s overall reaction remained exactly the same.

Now, getting back to how Paul handled rejection. When they were irritated and envious and spoke out against him in dishonouring ways, how did he respond? Well, we see that his response was not complicated. He simply acknowledged and accepted their rejection and then said that he was going to move on to the Gentiles who wanted to hear. When the Gentiles heard that, they were like, “Cool.” As a result, the word of the Lord was proclaimed throughout the entire region.

Acts 13:46 Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold, and said, It was necessary that the word of God should first have been spoken to you: but seeing ye put it from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, lo, we turn to the Gentiles. … 48 And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.

These verses show us what Paul did and did not do. Did he argue and debate their points or retort with a truckload of apologetic evidence? Did he respond by conforming or chasing them or attempting to find the middle ground? No, Paul simply shook it off and kept preaching to those who wanted to hear.

We have a saying at our church: we are interested in those who are interested. It is always difficult and even sad when someone rejects Christ. And even though we know it is not us they are rejecting (1Sa 8:7), it sure feels like it at the time. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words hurt more than anything. It’s especially hard when the rejection is from a friend or family member. But there really is only one thing you can do. You must accept their rejection and carry on. Focus your attention on those who want to hear the gospel, instead of wasting your time trying to convince those who do not. Psychologically, your lack of effort to convince them coupled with your calm confidence to leave them behind will often preach louder than all of your comebacks, catchphrases, and fossil records combined. And knowing when to walk away preaches a much more biblical message than capitulating.

But alas (he said pretentiously), Paul’s rejection in Antioch did not end with mere words. The Jews did not just bark; they bit as well. If someone takes or insinuates physical action of any kind, you can safely interpret this as rejection. When Paul continued on with the Gentiles, the Jews stepped up their game. They gathered all of the top influencers in the area and raised up a great persecution against Paul and Barney and ran them out of town.

Acts 13:50 But the Jews stirred up the devout and honourable women, and the chief men of the city, and raised persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them out of their coasts.

I doubt many of us have ever been rejected to this extent. But even after this persecution and being tossed out of town, Paul’s overall reaction remained exactly the same. How did he respond when his successful ministry in Antioch came to such an abrupt and unjust end?

Acts 13:51 But they shook off the dust of their feet against them, and came unto Iconium.

He recognises that their rejection is not just their undoing, but it is an affront to the name of Christ.

Paul and Deputy Fife shook it off and continued on; specifically, the scripture says they shook off the dust of their feet against them. The overall reaction to accept their rejection and carry on was the same, but they added a small demonstration. Standing at the town border, they literally shook off the dust from their feet and then turned and carried on to Iconium. Why did Paul do this, and what did he mean by it? Well first, he did it out of obedience to what the Lord said in Matthew 10:14, Mark 6:11, and Luke 9:5.

Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

I think most of us probably get the gist of this act, but the Jews would have understood Paul’s meaning with great clarity. You see, the Jews believed the Gentiles were so defiled and unclean that they would not even allow Gentile dust to cling to them. Listen to what Ovadiah ben Abraham of Bartenura (who wrote one of the most influential commentaries of the Mishnah) said:

“…all dust which comes from the land of the Gentiles, is reckoned by us as the rottenness of a dead carcass; and of these two, "the land of the Gentiles", and a field in which is a grave, it is decreed that they "defile" by touching, and by carrying.” (Mishnah Oholot. c. 17. sect. 5.)

Paul’s demonstration was a sermon in itself. Paul is saying that just as the Jews found Gentiles so offensive that they wouldn’t tolerate their dust on their feet, so Paul and Barnabas could not tolerate the dust of the rejectors on theirs. What’s more is that Luke 9:5 says this act is a testimony against the Jews. Paul is testifying, preaching, that just as they’d rejected the gospel, so Christ would cast them off in the day of judgment.

Paul’s demonstration speaks volumes about what our perspective should be in the midst of rejection. His concern was not his ego or his feelings, but for the honour of his Lord. Paul does not yell at them, he does not debate with them or try to defend himself, and he does not take physical action against them. He simply shakes off their dust as a testimony against them and then he carries on. Paul’s concern was the name of Christ. He recognises that their rejection is not just their undoing, but it is an affront to the name of Christ. It is an insult to his Lord and Saviour and because of that he is not willing to endure their dust on his feet. This should be our perspective when rejection comes. Maybe we should stop falling all over ourselves trying to woo people who could care less. Maybe we should care a little less about our wounded ego and a little more about the honour of our Saviour.

it is always worth it to share the gospel with someone even if they reject it and you.

Paul could have handled all of this differently. He could have stayed with the rejectors and tried to convince them. He could have said, “I am not going to give up on them” or something equally sappy. But walking away was the right thing to do. Sometimes, that is what you have to do.

If Paul had stuck with the rejectors, then the word of Christ may never have been published throughout the region and all of those Gentiles may never have come to Christ. By staying with the rejectors he would have, by default, given up on the Gentiles. And what of all the disciples in Iconium who were filled with joy and the Holy Ghost?

Listen, it is always worth it to share the gospel with someone even if they reject it and you. But trying to convince someone who does not want to know is not worth it; it is a waste. When we placate a rejector out of some misguided sense of duty or because we are desperate for them to like us, it does not honour Christ, but rather dishonours him.

There is another reaction Paul could have chosen. He could have retreated to lick his wounds. These were his own people who rejected his gospel, and Paul obviously had a great love for them (Rom 9:1-3). He could have grabbed a bottle of Manischewitz and asked for a hug from the Son of Consolation. Nobody would have blamed him. I think we have all done it, and probably over far less. This reaction is far more common, but it is even worse. It is one thing to give up on someone, but retreat is just giving up altogether.

(Side Note: There is another scenario that would require you walking away. There are some people who just like to have someone hear them talk and are in fact time wasters. They are not really interested in what you have to say to any great degree. You could just as easily talk to them about pop psychology or the existence of aliens. These people may be lonely or bored. The best thing to do is to introduce them to the body of Christ and then move on to someone who is actually interested in the gospel. This kind of person is not what we mean by “a rejector”, but you should find the appropriate way to walk away all the same.)

we must mentally and emotionally shake off their rejection and carry on.

So they shook off the dust from their feet. Why their feet? This is where the dust would naturally be, but their feet also represent the beauty of their mission (Rom 10:15), and they refused to let rejection cling to or contaminate their obedient determination. It is so natural to retreat from rejection, but that is not the answer. Anyone who has engaged in evangelism has been there. We get our feelings hurt. We get angry. Our pride is damaged. All of us have experienced those situations where either your blood boils or your heart breaks. But we must see this with a renewed mind. We must see through the lens of scripture. This rejector is simply stock-piling more wrath for themselves against the day of judgment (Rom 2:5). It is Christ who has been rejected and it is he who has been dishonoured (Luk 10:16). Our feelings and our ego are not the issue.

So should we physically shake off the dust of our feet when we are rejected? Well, I do think that—aside from obedience to what Christ commanded his apostles to do to the Jews—this physical act probably allowed Paul to deal mentally and emotionally with their rejection. To that extent, it is not necessarily a bad idea. Do I think it is a command for us today? No, but I think the principle certainly applies. This is how we should handle true biblical rejection: we must mentally and emotionally shake off their rejection and carry on. The best thing you can do with true rejectors is to leave them in your dust and focus your obedience upon those who are glad to hear. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted with vain questions and rejections or to be derailed by harsh words and hurt feelings. All you can do is leave them behind and aim your interest at those who are interested.

The haters are gonna hate, but baby, I’m just going to shake it off.

To hear more on Brian Clark’s testimony in evangelism, check out this episode of the Postscript podcast.