It is all too easy in the ever-evolving waves of feminism to step outside the protection of what God has ordained for us as women and choose for ourselves how we should live and on whom we should depend.
For our culture as a whole, independence has become defined by breaking social and gender norms and exalted as the standard by which all should live. Be an individual with independent thoughts (that are strikingly the same as everyone else’s) and independent actions (that look like everyone else’s). “Be independent,” society is screaming. You can’t depend on the government; you can’t depend on your spouse; you can’t depend on justice; you can’t depend on anyone but yourself, because only you know what’s best for you. Where once was the concept of community and depending on one another is now individualism and independence. Get what’s yours, follow your heart, trust in only yourself and, by all means, don’t take no for an answer. But what does scripture say about trusting in the ways of man?
Jeremiah 17:5-9 Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD. For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
How many die-hard independent people do you know who are filled with hope? How many self-sustaining people are living a life worth sustaining? How many, rather, are depressed, desperate for help, and have no joy? The independence of today is characterized by a life powered by the flesh and sustained by sheer self-will. In contrast, a life dependent on Christ is powered by the Almighty and sustained by resting in Him. I don’t want the curse of Jeremiah 17:5; I want the life of the tree that doesn’t know a bad day because it is so deeply dependent and rooted in Christ that nothing shakes it! It will always bear fruit.
We cannot trust our heart, our flesh to get us through. We cannot believe the lie of Satan that we know what’s best for ourselves. Our flesh will always fail us. We cannot depend on it, but we can depend on God.
Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
If we can trust God for salvation (Eph 2:8-9), then we can trust him in everything (Pro 3:5-6). Psalm 18:2 states that HE is the rock, fortress and deliverer. What can we say about ourselves? The opposite: we are weak and insecure and incapable.
What does it mean to put our dependence on God, and why should we? The word depend doesn’t actually appear in the King James Bible, but we see the same idea through a variety of words: rest, trust, believe, respect, rely, stay upon, lean on, have confidence in, be secure, be certain of, stand firm. If what we’re depending on has the potential to fail us, then we’re on unstable ground. Only God is never failing, so if we depend on him, we can be sure that all things will work together for good (Rom 8:28).
When we don’t trust in God, we are trusting in ourselves and worldly systems that bring forth trouble (Isa 59:4). The enemy will make you question if you can trust God (Psa 42:10, Isa 37:10), but our defence, our confidence, our support, our certainty is God and God alone.
Psalm 7:10 My defence is of God, which saveth the upright in heart.
When we are putting our dependence on ourselves or others, we miss out on victory that God wants in our lives (2Ch 16:7-8). He wants us to prevail over the enemy, but that can only come by trusting only him (2Ch 13:18, Jam 4:7). Our misplaced trust pleases Satan. He is thrilled to let you do things “for God” while depending on yourself, working in ministry in your own flesh and in your own power, because he knows it won’t please the Father (Rom 8:8, Heb 11:6). That is a sobering thought.
When we neglect to take decisions to the Lord, we deceive ourselves into thinking we are glorifying him with ministry busyness. Our actions look right, our attitude might even be alright, but our dependence is in our own ability and it is breaking God’s heart. Don’t be like the Pharisee in Luke 18, standing on his own righteousnesses, but rather the publican who knew where to rest and from whom he could receive help.
As a woman in today’s world, how easy is it to join the battle cry of independence? I wish I could go back to my college-aged self and whisper some wisdom in her ear, telling her she was too independent, that she needed to find her confidence in relying on Christ and not in her own ability to get things done. I was all about the “Miss Independent” life (yes, that’s a Kelly Clarkson reference). I didn’t need anything from anyone, and certainly not a man. I could take care of myself. But this led me into trouble relationally, financially, and emotionally. Trying to find dependence on myself led to dependence on other things that were most certainly NOT of the Lord. In no way was my life pleasing to God.
I read this somewhere recently: if we believe Jesus is the way (John 14:6), then we must study that way (2Ti 2:15) because we know we can depend on it for everything we need (2Ti 3:16-17). We can trust God AND his word. Let’s study the way to full dependence on God through biblical examples. Here are just some of the women who give us a powerful example of what it means to be an independent woman who is completely dependent on God. These women had to make a bold choice and move into action on their own, yet with God. Their dependence on the Lord led to salvations, strength, and prophecies being fulfilled.
Esther — Under Pressure
Esther took the advice of a God-fearing man, acted, and saw God move. She willingly faced death, and it revealed the power that was at work in her life — God Almighty. She knew she could never do the impossible without support, so she called on her people to pray for her. God had to do the work because she knew she was not capable. She boldly stepped out and went through with the plan, trusting the Lord the whole time.
This independent woman was totally dependent on God to move! Her actions not only saved her people, but added to them (Est 8:17). Her trust in God resulted in the salvation of a nation. Even the simple act of being reassured by God through prayer puts your trust in the right place and on the right person. What would have happened if Esther hadn’t trusted God enough to speak up? Israel would have faced genocide. But Esther depended on God and set aside her own safety.
Hannah — Attacked
Hannah was a part of a family consistent in their devotion to God, but it didn’t deter heartache. Circumstances made her life a living hell, even with her obedience and being in a righteous state before God. She was belittled and verbally abused day in and day out. But she chose to prostrate herself before the Lord, because she knew where her source of power would come from. She had reached a point where she knew God had to intervene and she wasn’t afraid to ask.
This is one of the greatest parts about being an independent woman who fully trusts in God: she knows she is weak and she knows who has the strength to help. She also sees that her petition to the Lord is not just for herself, but for the Lord’s work as well. Hannah wanted a son and purposed that he would serve God all his days. What if Hannah hadn’t trusted God enough to ask and follow through with giving her son to God’s work? Samuel, one of the greatest men of God, would not have been born, or wouldn’t have become a priest. But Hannah depended on God and set aside her desires.
Jochebed — Scared
As Pharaoh had all the Hebrew boys killed, where else could Jochebed run but to God for the salvation of her son? She did what was best in the situation: setting the baby in an ark down the river, trusting that God would protect him. Her dependence on God led to the nation of Israel being set free from their bondage to the land that was promised generations before.
Dependence on the Lord goes beyond our own life; it reaches as far into the future as God sees fit. Jochebed’s dependence on God also returned to her in great blessing, as we see she got back what she entrusted to the Lord. What if she hadn’t trusted God enough to let go of what was most precious to her? Israel may have remained in bondage. But she depended on God and set aside her fear.
Rahab — Powerless
Rahab had heard about the greatness of the God of Israel but never witnessed his power herself. Yet, she trusted him. She acted in faith and she acted immediately. Her dependence on God saved her whole family. That same kind of dependence from the Israelites caused the walls of Jericho to fall, all the while keeping a portion of it standing so that Rahab and her family could escape. Her trust in God even led her to be a part of the lineage of Jesus! What if she hadn’t trusted God enough to act according to what she knew? Israel’s spies would have been caught and the mission to take the land would have been compromised. But she depended on God, setting aside her past and trusting him for her future.
Mary — Incapable
Mary trusted in the Lord through an impossible situation. She set aside her reputation and pride to do the will of the Lord, to be used of him, and to be the vessel for the birth of the Messiah! How exciting and how daunting. Mary was called “highly favoured” and “blessed” — those adjectives didn’t come by means of trusting in herself. She had proven to God her desire to lean on him, and he chose her. She was living a lifestyle of dependence. What if she hadn’t trusted God enough to say yes to his plan? Surely God would have made a way for the Messiah, but Mary would have missed out on the invaluable blessing of being used to birth and raise him. Instead, she depended on God and set aside her pride.
Each of these women gave up something to trust the Lord. Esther set aside her safety, Hannah set aside her desires, Jochebed set aside her fear, Rahab set aside her past, and Mary set aside her pride. Christ demonstrated this same dependence on God through his prayer in the garden of Gethsemane and by following through on the cross: he gave up his will. What are we willing to set aside? What are we willing to give up trusting ourselves and start trusting Christ for?
Submitting to the authority of God in our life (which includes submitting to our pastors, our fathers, our husbands, our ministry leaders) is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, setting aside what we want for what our authority wants is a sign of great strength. It’s easy to do whatever we want to do, but to lay aside our own desires for the desires of someone else takes strength. I look at these women and I don’t see weakness. That’s because their strength comes from the giver of strength, the Lord God Almighty. He gives us HIS strength in our weakness (2Co 12:9, 13:4).
All our strength, all our ability, all our desire, all our independence is only weakness. We’re delusional if we think we can do anything of true value on our own. We need God’s strength in order to perform his work. But dependence on God doesn’t mean inaction on our part. By living a life dependent on Christ, we gain valuable tools to put in our toolbelt. And when the moment of action arises, in our dependent-independence we get to confidently pick one up and use it. It is God’s strength that makes us confident. He knows we are under pressure, attacked, scared, powerless, and incapable, and he still wants to use us. Be an independent woman by the standard set forth in the word, not the world: a woman who makes bold choices rooted in her dependence on Christ.
Rosie Fyffe is a member of Midtown Baptist Temple in Kansas City, MO. She previously served with her husband and children in Pakistan as a missionary and currently serves on the missions team at MBT
